today is my off day, so i decided to leave sorenberg and get down to luzern with moni. was happy all the way, had shopping, spend something at least filling my satisfaction. ha ha. anyway. had fun..sweety.. =9
we went to have dinner in a thai restaurant. we were carrying our stomach on the way back.
we snapped shots, we played, we talked, we chit chat, we etc etc hidden. haha.
there was something happened. i just dont know why whenever we having great time and then it ends tremendously. someone had alcohols beyond the bar which they supposed to know they are not allow to. things happen again and all around. why they have to be so stupid...its just so simple to follow the rules and regulations. can you guys not having these many of troubles and i could have my last few weeks moment spending with people i want to? stop doing something childish like a kid with full of curiosity. if you know thats wrong, you remember and not to redo the mistake is acceptable. when the second time with common sense doing something wrong when you know about it but still you want to do it..that is not acceptable. - karma. whatever you did, you will have revenge one day. you will need to pay back even more than what you did wrong.
anyway..was planning to watch stars but failed because of them, thanks, shall i give you guys credit on my post? = ="
i walked alone to the post office and back fro twice..i walked to the stars watching area go and back for two times. i talked to someone who is trustworthy, thanks honey, you made half my day still shinny. i met you then, and we went back together. i decided to stay in my room because i wanna give you some space to chill out. shytes always happen..then bar was closed, most of them were being kicked out. wondering what is happening...and fire alarm rang...running here and there..while i just wish to have a silent friday. i dont wish or hope much..just sometime for me spending with somebody i care.
then my babe came in and had a chat with me..asking about me and telling me when it comes to relationship, i must fight and never give up with it. so i persuade myself to learn to trust. even when im the many thoughts people. however, i just found something not true..but still i will trust you, because you promised and tell me whats true. and i still believe.
and now, 4.04am..i m still awake..because i couldnt believe my eyes what i saw..i feel so embarrassing and feel so priceless about me anymore because i stepped in the area of privacy.
i was defining the word " i love you " and calling " husband and wife " to anyone as long as you like to anyone you want to. im so oriented at that moment. i was shaking and shivering myself. i saw the conversation which begin with " can with start again ? ", " do you need doc? ", " of course i worry about you" , " i love you lo po " etc etc. please tell me it was just prank or someone was writing it. i apologise as because i was just customising your birthday album as garv told me to, but a msg start up and my eagerness of looking came through. but i think i have the right because im your girl. forgive me if im concouring your room but im not. i dont really understand until you tell me and explain to me. its like the incident we met on the slope, you explain to me whats happening. and so i accept. i just want to know what happening around you how i tell you everything even though you might not interested in them. i want you to tell me or at least writing it to me than walking away from me. these mistakes are just gonna happen again on me because i dont know whats right and wrong and where is the mistake that i shouldnt redo again anymore as i know the answer and i shouldnt be asking again.
somebody told me that, small little thing could not be seen in short term but accumulation of the small things are gonna affect the long run. i cant afford to lose this important person, just like you cant afford to lose the trust from them. Whenever, i would really love to sit down and hear your opinion and feedback, but at the end i only bring my sadness and saving the question marks until you come and take them away from to minus the worries, and to reduce the capacity of keeping them in my heart.
p/s: I L NC.
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